The Imminent Bag to the Antipodal

I had to do a lot of research to get that title, just to let you know. I used the online thesaurus for "preparing"( imminent) "venture" (Bag, I don't know how bag related to venture but it apparently does) and "foreign" (antipodal). So I'm preparing to venture into a foreign land, in exactly one week. In fact at this specific time one week from now I should be either in the air or just taking off. The flight is at 1:55 but it's always hard to say if you'll get off the ground on time. Therefore consider this the beginning of my posts about Serbia and the Xperience of trip 2007.

Can I just say that it's finally starting to sink into my thick head that I'm leaving and it's really freaking me out at this particular juncture. Every time I think about it my stomach ties up in knots and I get at giggly and squealy. I half want to laugh with excitement and half want to scream with terror. Was I very sane when I signed up for this project? Hmmm... not so sure about that one.

And then logical me (I know that sounds funny) grips me, the hysterical me, and says: "What the heck are you freaked out about? Everything is going to be fine! You know it's going to be fine, what's wrong with you?!" But then I think I might be schizophrenic because I'm referring to a logical and hysterical me... Well anyway, for a brief moment I get a grip, and then go back into hysteria thinking, in a mild panic, of how I'm going to pack (and pack lightly enough) to not be too weighed down by my luggage as we walk the streets in a strange country. Thinking about it makes me want to shudder, I don't really know why. I feel very unfocused, because packing and leaving are not exactly the biggest or most important parts of this trip. However, I can't seem to focus on the really important parts, like reaching people for Christ and getting to know him better myself.

I'm stuck in a strange place constantly bouncing from sheer excitement and jumping for joy, and then to sheer terror wringing my hands in agony. However, I definitely have some things going for me. Things like, I'm going with friends and not strangers. I know everyone on the team, except for a couple who are out of town or out of state, and they are all people that I love dearly. They are encouraging people, and good prayers, and servants who really love God and can steady me when I start to go a little crazy. They are also people that I can steady when they start to go a little crazy, although I think it would be best if there was only one crazy person active on the team at any given time. I'm even going with people who have been before, who know what to expect from the people there. They have an understanding of the culture, not complete, but still there. I also have people here who are great intercessors and will be praying for the team and what happens while we are there. They will be such a vital part of what happens that with out them there could be no trip, period. The man leading out team is an outstanding man of God. There is a strong air of authority about him. Not in the way that the guy you work for that's bully in the office is, you know what I mean? It's authority, but there is grace in his authority and love and compassion. It's not a face he puts on to push around people that are below him.

Keep in mind though, as I speak to myself here, that the greatest thing going for me, my team, and this trip in general, is that God is with us. His hand is heavy upon us all and the adventure we are undertaking. There can be no mistaking it in the least. He has provided in abundance for me and for several others on the team, enough abundance to provide money for others to come who might not have been able to otherwise. This one trip, all by itself, has been in the works for many, many years. I do not know the face of God, what he looks like or how exactly he thinks. I don't know how his mind works, and I cannot fathom the plans he has for this journey or the effects hereafter. I do know, however, that this one small and seemingly insignificant voyage has been in his mind for years, decades, maybe even centuries. I know my God is a strategist, and that he has been lining everything up for this trip, from simple accommodations like food and housing, to the precise people he intends to be on the team, to each and every person who will attend the English camps. He has been working on my heart for this moment for the past twenty-one years, and this is only the first step toward something even bigger in the future that I know nothing about at this point. He has been preparing the hearts of the Serbian students that we will see for the whole of their lives as well. There is no mistaking such a thing. Many people would say I'm crazy for saying such a thing... well I've already admitted to being a bit crazy, so you were right. But I know it, I know like I know that the sun will rise in the morning and set in the evening. No one has to tell me, I know.

*sigh* This line of thought gives me peace and for a moment, that lasts as long as (admittedly) I allow it to, I'm not bouncing between excitement and terror. I'm content, and confident, and fearless. The torrent I'm about to step into hardly even touches the edges of my mind, much like Peter must have felt as he stepped onto the waves to go and meet Christ. The trick now, is to stay focused on Him and not panic and sink back into the water. That should be easy right?